Adulthood; the state or condition of being fully grown or mature.

It's funny how time has the ability to shape and change people, places, situations, and emotions. Our feelings right now may be a complete contradiction to what our feelings a few minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, or years ago were. And of all the time one has in one's life, many say that the most extraordinarily contradictory emotions are formed in a period popularly known as adolescence. 

Adolescence is a roller coaster of emotions alright- my own mood swings annoy me and make me moody. But that's not what today is about. Today is the 14th of november, when nationwide Children's Day is celebrated. And today is my second last celebration of this day. After 1 year 2 months and 14 days, I won't be counted as a child anymore. I will be my own person. Why is that not as exciting as it seemed a few years ago?

A few years ago, I was the most excited about being able to get behind the steering wheel of a car- and I still am today. But... somehow, there is something else accompanying that excitement. It's fear. 

Freedom sets you free they say. It gives you wings to leap they say. But when could a fledling fly in it's first leap? And when did it take a leap where it did not fear the fall? Was it the fear that caused the fall?

It isn't just the  steering wheel of the car that scares me, it's the steering wheel of my life. The ability of effect change in this world that scares me. The power to set off a dominoes effect that scares me. A voice that is loud enough to be heard that scares me. Being in the big bad world that scares me. Standing up to it scares me and getting swept by it scares me. Remaining a child scares me. Wondering what it was like to be a child scares me. Extremes scare me. Means scare me. But amidst all this, there is a rush of adrenaline. I have hopes. Hopes that I will have an impact, the power to be heard and acknowledged as my own person. Hope there is light at the end of the tunnel and one day I will emerge into it victorious. Okay… that’s a tad bit dramatic. But this bittersweet medley of feelings today has taught me how beautiful my past has been, how beautiful my present is, and how beautiful my future can be. Only this time, the beauty of the future will completely depend on me.