Bigger Scars don't reduce the significance of smaller ones

Up until five weeks ago I used to spend all my working days in boarding school and come home for the weekend. It wasn’t the giant sleepover people who have never boarded seem to think it is, but it was pretty amazing to live with friends and study with teachers and have communal meals and sleep in dormitories. And I missed my parents, of course I missed my parents. But I had a lot of fun too. but then, almost four weeks ago, all my routine came crashing down, hit by a wrecking ball called coronavirus.

We had to stay home after our spring break. The school’s physical facility was shut down and we shifted to online schooling. At let me tell you, learning calculus in online class is NOT something that I would put in my “easiest things I have ever done” list. I just gave my SATs. And now all Universities are one by one declaring that they don’t need SATs. I was supposed to be scurrying to finish assignments and studying for class tests right now. But everything has gone directly from fifth gear to first. I haven’t seen any human face except my parents’ for almost four weeks. I may be sort of an introvert but I lived in a boarding school for MONTHS for crying out loud, there is only so much of an introvert that I can be. And House Party is an extremely annoying application. For those who don’t know yet, if you thought snapchat was complicated, this one will blow your gasket off. And I get that these precautions are all necessary, but that doesn’t mean that I have to stay shut about how plain damn ANNOYING they are. Someone might say the upside is that I get to spend time with my folks and I love that. But there are quite a few downsides to this too. I know people might say “Be positive”, “Not shut at home, Safe at home”, “Be grateful, medical personnel and other people working in necessity industries are out there braving the virus”. Sugar, I am grateful for being safe and I am grateful to all these people at the frontline, fighting this virus. And I am also very grateful that I am privileged enough not to have to worry about where my next meal is coming from. But since when did bigger scars reduce the significance of smaller ones? Since when was it not okay for me to use my free speech to convey my agony, however small it is in comparison to that of others? And to all those people who are slashing positivity challenges on social media by saying “The world is being ravaged by a virus and all these women can think of is talking positive about one another”, I would like to say SHUT UP. What are we supposed to do, wallow in sadness and self pity? At least we aren’t ruining somebody else’s day like you are! Let them have this sense of togetherness at least. You may be filled with self hate and world hate and self pity, doesn’t mean they have to be too!

And the next time somebody talks about how the coronavirus is good and is healing the Earth, I would like you to take a look at how many innocent people have lost their lives to it, Thanos. And while you are at it, go look the Ted Ed video on YouTube about what will happen to the planet if we disappear (Ted Ed has not paid me).

So yeah, let me have my mental breakdown in peace , let others post their videos and photos in peace and don’t undermine the lesser struggles.