The Start Of The Rest Of Our Lives

This was written on the day before our board exams commenced

Tomorrow is the big day- the start of the rest of our lives- the day our grade X board exam commences. Our performance during ten fateful days will determine our future.

Wishes have been pouring in from family and friends alike for the last week or so. Quite frankly, I am still debating what they resemble more, a birthday or a memorial service. Most of them instructed specifically not to take stress. My answer to them is standardized- It’s just another exam for me.

But the more I use that statement, the more difficult it gets for me to convince myself of the truth in it.

Honestly, till last night, I was perfectly fine. But this morning, when I woke up, the realization hit me like a punch in the gut. I am going to give my boards tomorrow!

I have been waiting for this realization for the past two years. Actually, the experience was quite similar to puberty. When it hasn’t hit you but has hit your peers, you want nothing more than to get run over by it. But when it finally arrives, you realize you were better off without it. I guess I just don’t learn.

My hands and feet are cold, and it has nothing to do with the unearthly low temperatures currently affecting our hemisphere of the earth. There is an uneasy bubble swirling in the pits of my stomach.

I have literally googled if you can get acidity due to anxiety. Guess what? You can. [Yep, mum. This was what I was doing on the web when you told me to put my phone away ;)] 😉😉😉

For the past ten years, my peers and I have been reciting this specific prayer every morning in the month of February during the morning assembly. The prayer began with “Oh God, we humbly and earnestly pray…” and was basically directed at wishing the best for all those seniors appearing for board exams. Now imagine yourself as one of us, following this ritual diligently for an entire decade. If the thought that today, someone in a school of six thousand five hundred students is praying for you doesn’t - excuse my French- scare you shitless, then I really need to check if you are a robot or a Homo Sapien Sapien

The adrenaline has kicked in folks, and all I can think of is tucking my tail between my hind legs and making a run for it.

I am really not one for writing diary entries. I like to think that it has something to do with the fact that I am sort of Anne Frank’s doppelganger and the heinous and merciless exposition of her personal journal to the world resulted in me having trust issues about journal writing.

Then why am I boring you to death right now? Well, there are three reasons for that.

I. The more I write, the longer my hyperventilation ceases.

II. Someday, someone appearing for boards may read this and realize that this anxiety is just a phase we all pass through.

III. If and when a crisis arises in the future, I want to reread this and realize that once upon a time, I had thought of Boards as the zombie apocalypse. But I got through them. Similarly, armed with courage, determination, confidence, poise, and a strip of antacid pills, I can scale through any challenge life throws my way (hopefully) unscathed. I want to be reminded that even if the seas appear stormier than the Drake shake and Bermuda Triangle at night combined, doesn’t mean they actually are. And although this year has been one hell of a roller coaster, this message of hope is something I most definitely want to remember in context with the start of the rest of our lives.

P.S. In case people are looking for the voted speaker for the farewell party, I believe I will be perfect for the job *wink*.